It’s a Fight That Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard

When I lost both of my dogs last month, I went into the deepest form of depression that I have ever experienced. Luckily my friends stood by me, but there was not much they could do to help my inevitable pain. To mourn, I wanted food…

and not necessarily the good kind.

I knew if I emotionally ate, the outcome would be a reverse affect of my hard work, and I was very much willing to accept that.

In the end, the pain did subside and I only gained a couple of pounds.

I’m determined to lose that weight and that pain.

Being in control really does aid my happiness. It is great that I have finally had the chance to learn all of this by making this film. I have been given a one in a million chance to have three years of constant advice from the top diet and health gurus in the country. They are helping me fight the fight of obesity. Even through emotional obstacles, I’m still fighting the fight.

It doesn’t have to be so hard…does it?

My Visit With Ruby

I traveled almost eighteen hours each way for this interview;  this was officially the longest trip I had taken by car for ‘Finding Thin’. After three years of researching the secret for what it was to truly “find thin”, it was coming to an end.

At first I had only seen Ruby on The Style Network a few times during  my fifteen hour work days on the film. But through Facebook, iTunes, Hulu, and YouTube, I was able to find hours of footage to look at and really get a feel for what Ruby was all about.

Originally I was going to simply interview her by phone but after watching her story….there was no way I was not going see this amazing woman in person. I felt like she was someone who I would immediately bond with; and I was exactly right.

With all my pain from the aftermath of my previous accident, every minute in the car felt incredibly daunting. But I refused to give in; this was going to be my final interview for the film, and Ruby was going to be the perfect finish.

When I first arrived, she looked different. Ruby had lost a great deal of weight and looked terrific. She was beautiful on both the inside and outside.  I ended up sitting with her on the couch and kitchen table with her family and friends, and I immediately felt at home.

Of course after losing my most beloved dog the other week, I had been in a very depressed state…probably the saddest I had ever been in a long time. Then I met Ruby’s beautiful dog. She sat between us during our first hour on the couch and fell asleep against my leg. It was one of the few interviews that I wanted to cry in. It was ironic that Ruby not only helped me as a person, but her dog got in on the action as well. I even offered her a thousand dollars for the dog; but like me, there wasn’t a price tag big enough for Ruby to let go of her “wo-man’s” best friend.

We shared so much in common and it was comforting. Some might ask, how could a woman who is heavy herself, help me? Well the answer is simple. We both could relate in a way that most thin people could not. We had gone through many of the same experiences and felt the same way about many issues.

Ruby has lost weight and is gaining happiness and hope along the way.  I wish I could tell you more about this inspirational woman, but you’ll have to wait until you see the movie.

In the meantime, check out Ruby Gettinger’s show because this is one beautiful, intelligent, and purely sweet person for which I am a better person for knowing.

When Food Doesn’t Take The Pain Away Anymore

Almost three years ago I began the quest for “Finding Thin.”

During my quest to find thin, I started to gain even more weight.
Traveling all around the country interviewing Jillian Michaels, Bob
Harper, Tony Horton and more, was extremely stressful and offered very
few healthy eating opportunities throughout the way.

In truth, I used the stress as an excuse that in turn failed my body,
my health, and overall, myself. Emotional eating has interrupted any
successful weight loss for as long as I’ve ever known.

Last week I lost my beloved Pug and it was devastating. This was the
last of my dogs and the loss of two in a month or so time.

My world was completely torn apart. Life didn’t feel right, even in my
own bed where I’ve been barely fighting off sleepless nights. Any
mention of my dog broke me into a million little pieces.

In the past, I’d usually turn to food to ease my pain, but this time
it just didn’t feel right.
It was as if someone put some sort of mind trap in me and I could not
reach for the food.
Suddenly there were just a few poor food choices…but I didn’t even
care. I believe that I even lost weight.

Whether or not this is because I feel so empty inside or not, I am not
sure. Though the one thing I know is that over the last couple of
months, I have felt very different when it came to emotions and
eating. I wasn’t even trying for weight loss and yet it seemed to be
coming naturally.

There is still internal pain that I have to get through, but there is
also that feeling of success for being able to deal with something as
devastating as this in such a different way.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that even in the darkest
hours, there is still hope out there.

A Life Loss Turning into a Life Gain

I recently experienced the loss of a dog that had been my best friend for the last fifteen years. As I sat at the doctor’s office, it was the worst experience I had gone through within the last two years.

I know that some feel that a family pet is not the same as a human being in their eyes but we can agree to disagree on that point. I am not married and this dog was my immediate family.

If I could have gone with her, I possibly would have.

To temporarily soothe the pain, I stayed in bed and ordered in food that I knew were bad for me. It was emotional eating but I was very aware of it for the first time.

I just didn’t give a damn. There were friends for support but I didn’t want it. I wanted to punish myself for the loss of the dog that I felt responsible for.

While I tried and realize that it wasn’t my fault and I was doing the humane thing, but it still was my decision in the end.

I am starting to get better as I welcomed another dog that my mother adopted who is three years old. Originally, I was totally against it as I felt that it was a total betrayal.

Though I do think I am a good son who took my mother in to help take care of her and her other animals.

The interesting thing was that the dog took to me immediately and would not leave my side. Not even when I went to the bathroom.

So what was originally a dog that I did not want and was supposed to go to my mother, has now become my 2nd dog.

I feel her love and loyalty to her that I will work through any issues as she is not going anywhere.

Though the story gets even better…I was shooting a pickup shot yesterday where I went grocery shopping. I was supposed to fill the cart with a ton of unhealthy foods and I would then return then minutes after the shoot. Of course in the back of my head, I thought I would just keep them and eat my heart out.

I didn’t though and ended up returning the majority of all the foods by choice.

It just felt like it was the right thing to do for me. When people try and help you by pushing you to go on a diet, it never turns out. You have to give a damn first.

Through this emotional weight gain I’ve gained something even more…knowledge.

My Dog Blog

I really never gave it any thought before until I weighed my beloved Pug at the veterinarian recently.

It was astounding that she was considered to be obese as I was. Looks like my pug was going to join this dieting journey along side me.

To fix this situation, I immediately changed his food. I also found out that exercise would help.

Sound familiar?

My animals were taking my bad habits. Any snacks or meals that I chose to eat, they ate. I made the terrible mistake of feeding them my table scraps. I never realized that if I fed my dogs the same crap that I fed myself, that they would be in a dangerous health situation, similar to my own.

So now, instead of one person on a diet with the ability to either sabotage or take charge of, it is myself plus one. I’m in charge of my pug and myself. I’m standing alone and in charge of saving two lives. It’s a pretty scary perspective especially if I’m already having such problems on my own diet.

I don’t have kids and my animals are basically my children. It really says something that our habits, especially dietary, set the bar for our children-whether human or a bit furrier. They are following our footsteps, whether healthy of not. My “child” is a victim of my bad habit.

It is time to break the chain and start to make changes.