Tag Archives: family loss

It’s a Fight That Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard

When I lost both of my dogs last month, I went into the deepest form of depression that I have ever experienced. Luckily my friends stood by me, but there was not much they could do to help my inevitable pain. To mourn, I wanted food…

and not necessarily the good kind.

I knew if I emotionally ate, the outcome would be a reverse affect of my hard work, and I was very much willing to accept that.

In the end, the pain did subside and I only gained a couple of pounds.

I’m determined to lose that weight and that pain.

Being in control really does aid my happiness. It is great that I have finally had the chance to learn all of this by making this film. I have been given a one in a million chance to have three years of constant advice from the top diet and health gurus in the country. They are helping me fight the fight of obesity. Even through emotional obstacles, I’m still fighting the fight.

It doesn’t have to be so hard…does it?

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This Has Been the Worst Month Of My Life

This has been the worst month of my life.

I lost two family pets which were my near and dear to my heart…practically children to me, regardless how others may feel.

I’ve really gotten to know who my true friends are. As for the phony ones, they are dead to me.

I thought I would emotionally eat during this time but I’ve only had a few bad days. Perhaps I even lost a few pounds, though that was not my intention.

After meeting with so many celebrities in the last few years making this film, maybe it is rubbing off.

I think back to Jillian Michaels, Ruby Gettinger, Dr. Judith Beck and even Bob Harper. Each and every one of them were so human and gave me strength. Even Michelle Bouchard from Dr. Oz’s Health Corps. was a positive influence.

Everyone wants to help but when you are in such emotional turmoil it seems like a lost cause.

I wake up in the morning and my little ones are not there.

Isolation has become my best friend.

It is ironic that all of this should takes place at the end of production. It has been over three years of my life that I have felt like I have forsaken so much.

I just always felt if I could effect just one person’s life other then my own, then it will all be worth it.

On this journey I have learned and experienced so much I can’t wait to share with you all on the screen.

It just never entered my mind how long and life changing this would be.

I now make two promises.

The first, is to finish this film for everyone.

The second, is to help the great foundations representing this very cause that I so believe in.

There has to be good that comes from this film and I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.

A Life Loss Turning into a Life Gain

I recently experienced the loss of a dog that had been my best friend for the last fifteen years. As I sat at the doctor’s office, it was the worst experience I had gone through within the last two years.

I know that some feel that a family pet is not the same as a human being in their eyes but we can agree to disagree on that point. I am not married and this dog was my immediate family.

If I could have gone with her, I possibly would have.

To temporarily soothe the pain, I stayed in bed and ordered in food that I knew were bad for me. It was emotional eating but I was very aware of it for the first time.

I just didn’t give a damn. There were friends for support but I didn’t want it. I wanted to punish myself for the loss of the dog that I felt responsible for.

While I tried and realize that it wasn’t my fault and I was doing the humane thing, but it still was my decision in the end.

I am starting to get better as I welcomed another dog that my mother adopted who is three years old. Originally, I was totally against it as I felt that it was a total betrayal.

Though I do think I am a good son who took my mother in to help take care of her and her other animals.

The interesting thing was that the dog took to me immediately and would not leave my side. Not even when I went to the bathroom.

So what was originally a dog that I did not want and was supposed to go to my mother, has now become my 2nd dog.

I feel her love and loyalty to her that I will work through any issues as she is not going anywhere.

Though the story gets even better…I was shooting a pickup shot yesterday where I went grocery shopping. I was supposed to fill the cart with a ton of unhealthy foods and I would then return then minutes after the shoot. Of course in the back of my head, I thought I would just keep them and eat my heart out.

I didn’t though and ended up returning the majority of all the foods by choice.

It just felt like it was the right thing to do for me. When people try and help you by pushing you to go on a diet, it never turns out. You have to give a damn first.

Through this emotional weight gain I’ve gained something even more…knowledge.