Tag Archives: happiness

It’s a Fight That Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard

When I lost both of my dogs last month, I went into the deepest form of depression that I have ever experienced. Luckily my friends stood by me, but there was not much they could do to help my inevitable pain. To mourn, I wanted food…

and not necessarily the good kind.

I knew if I emotionally ate, the outcome would be a reverse affect of my hard work, and I was very much willing to accept that.

In the end, the pain did subside and I only gained a couple of pounds.

I’m determined to lose that weight and that pain.

Being in control really does aid my happiness. It is great that I have finally had the chance to learn all of this by making this film. I have been given a one in a million chance to have three years of constant advice from the top diet and health gurus in the country. They are helping me fight the fight of obesity. Even through emotional obstacles, I’m still fighting the fight.

It doesn’t have to be so hard…does it?

My Visit With Ruby

Ruby Gettinger talking with Barry Roskin BlakeI traveled almost eighteen hours each way for this interview;  this was officially the longest trip I had taken by car for ‘Finding Thin’. After three years of researching the secret for what it was to truly “find thin”, it was coming to an end.

At first I had only seen Ruby on The Style Network a few times during  my fifteen hour work days on the film. But through Facebook, iTunes, Hulu, and YouTube, I was able to find hours of footage to look at and really get a feel for what Ruby was all about.

Originally I was going to simply interview her by phone but after watching her story….there was no way I was not going see this amazing woman in person. I felt like she was someone who I would immediately bond with; and I was exactly right.

With all my pain from the aftermath of my previous accident, every minute in the car felt incredibly daunting. But I refused to give in; this was going to be my final interview for the film, and Ruby was going to be the perfect finish.

When I first arrived, she looked different. Ruby had lost a great deal of weight and looked terrific. She was beautiful on both the inside and outside.  I ended up sitting with her on the couch and kitchen table with her family and friends, and I immediately felt at home.

Of course after losing my most beloved dog the other week, I had been in a very depressed state…probably the saddest I had ever been in a long time. Then I met Ruby’s beautiful dog. She sat between us during our first hour on the couch and fell asleep against my leg. It was one of the few interviews that I wanted to cry in. It was ironic that Ruby not only helped me as a person, but her dog got in on the action as well. I even offered her a thousand dollars for the dog; but like me, there wasn’t a price tag big enough for Ruby to let go of her “wo-man’s” best friend.

We shared so much in common and it was comforting. Some might ask, how could a woman who is heavy herself, help me? Well the answer is simple. We both could relate in a way that most thin people could not. We had gone through many of the same experiences and felt the same way about many issues.

Ruby has lost weight and is gaining happiness and hope along the way.  I wish I could tell you more about this inspirational woman, but you’ll have to wait until you see the movie.

In the meantime, check out Ruby Gettinger’s show because this is one beautiful, intelligent, and purely sweet person for which I am a better person for knowing.

31 Days Towards Change – A Progress Report

In all my years on this earth, through all of my ups and downs, 500 lbs days and 150 lbs days, I am at a place I have never been at before. I previously made bad choices that inevitably led to more weight issues. Now I am making  better choices and losing the weight in an appropriate way. I am watching what I eat better and exercising better. I used to just watch every calorie that went into my body and became obsessed with it. Now I am watching how healthy the food is. It is more important to me that food is a healthy choice than just a lean choice.

After 31 days of this, I feel much better. I feel alive for the first time in a long time. I was recently in New York City and what previously seemed like the worst walk ever from 21st street to Time Square was a breeze. Don’t get me wrong, there are days I would love to stay in bed or eat everything in my fridge, but I have a new found strength that keeps me going and feeling healthier than ever.

I also realized that it is not just what I eat or how I work out, it’s about the weight that I carry around with me. I have blamed being heavy for everything in my life — the reason I don’t go to social events, the reason I don’t do physical activity, even the reason I eat most of the time. It’s a shield I hide behind. However, the biggest weight I carry are the layers of unhappiness. I know that being thin doesn’t make me happy, but being happy can help me be thin.

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