A Special Guest Post By: Courtney Mueller, Co-Producer of “Finding Thin”
I went back to therapy. And by that I mean I went shopping again. I thought I’d give Nordstrom a chance to make me feel better.
This time I didn’t go alone. I brought a friend for support. It was a good idea but ended up going awry.
We were working our way through every department- from shoes, to jewelry, to makeup, our joint therapy session seemed to be heading off to a promising start.
Then we ended at clothing.
It was regular sized woman and super thin person tackling the sometimes torturous world of fashion.
I am generally comfortable in my skin and love to use my retail therapy to show myself off. But as soon as we entered the dressing room, my confidence waned. Each shirt or pair of pants was modeled to get the other person’s approval. We trust each other’s opinions and usually can usually tell what the other is thinking as soon as we stepped out of our private rooms. Every time I tried on a new piece I smiled at myself at the mirror and then walked out for the friendly review. We stepped out and gave the look, the thumbs up or down, or gushed over how fantastic or hideous the clothes were.
This time though, I found myself suddenly self-conscious. While I would try multiple sizes in search of the perfect fit, every piece my friend tried on fit her perfectly or (even worse) was too big on her. I felt like her only problem was trying to pick what to buy from her stash while I was trying to pick out one or two items from my stash that would fit. I was jealous.
Regardless of our sizes, the retail therapy modeling session remained the same for the both of us; some tops looked great, others didn’t. And even though I was self-conscious, in a way, so was she. She didn’t love how she looked in every single thing she tried on, even if I thought she looked great.
She disproved my theory that the size zero girl didn’t existent. She existed alright, and she had the same problems as a size regular like me. She experienced the same issues, just at a smaller size. Our experience together made me realize that regardless the size, every one has their own body type issues.
Posted in Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Guest Post, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions, Serious Issues, Uncategorized
Tagged Barry Roskin Blake, body, body issues, clothes, Courtney Mueller, exist, fat, fat acceptance, fat to thin, finding thin documentary, finding thin film, friends, nordstrom, proudmodel, retail, support, therapy
I know most of you have probably heard about P90X or about the man behind it, Tony Horton. After hearing all the hype myself, I wondered if this man could live up to the new craze.
After our latest trip out to Los Angles, I must admit that he certainly does. Tony easily puts me to shame at the age 52 when it comes to his health, not to mention that the man looks like he’s almost twenty years younger. His physical prowess is amazing and he can do things that I have never seen anyone capable of.
As far as the weight loss angle goes, it’s merely impossible to shed your extra pounds if you really dedicate yourself to his program.
The great thing is not to look at it as a diet but just part of your daily life.
What effected me the most throughout our interview, was that he made sense of it all. The lightbulb went off in my head that being healthy wasn’t to be looked at as maintaining a temporary diet, but rather a necessity to your lifestyle. Being healthy seemed nothing less than common sense for me.
Now I must admit, I’m not the type of guy who watched his P90X videos. I figured there was no way a guy my size would ever be able to do what he does. But to my surprise, the program can be modified to help you at any size. Tony even gave me a demo of how he has people over that are over three hundred pounds that have had personal miracles thanks to Tony and their own hard work.
You and I are not the only ones that Tony helps to get back in shape. He has worked with dozens of celebrity clients and is one of the top guru’s in not only L.A., but the entire country.
Personally, I wasn’t sure of what to expect from a guy as famous and loved as Tony.
Within two minutes, he had me on the floor with laughter. He was a real person with common sense when it came to health and compassion when it came to training. He was the real deal.
I just watched the raw interview yesterday and could not believe how good it was.
Forgive me if I sound a little biased, but I can’t wait to finish this film so I can share this experience (among our other surprises) together with you all, on the big screen.
So thank you, Tony, for helping to make “Finding Thin” a film that can only be better with you in it.
Most importantly, thank you for giving me hope, and for making sense of this (now) seemingly nonsensical obesity epidemic.
Posted in Answers, Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions, Serious Issues
Tagged Barry Roskin Blake, celebrities, celebrity weight loss, common sense, Diet, exercising, fat to thin, finding thin documentary, finding thin film, health, hope, nonsense, obesity epidemic, P90x, positive, support, Tony Horton, unbiased, why are we so fat, workouts
I have been up and down with my weight…I’ve been all the way up to 500 pounds and all the way down to 150 pounds.
When I was at my heaviest, I was the most depressed I had ever been and on medication to treat it. Some pills had the added potential stress of gaining weight but I had to take my chances…trying to fix my problem while adding to it.
When I lost most of the weight, the journey of my weight loss through dieting really brought me joy. I wouldn’t even look in the mirror when I was so heavy, and even still could not see a thin person when I lost all the weight.
It feels like a never ending vicious cycle. It’s like a lose-lose situation. Or, had my depression always been there from the start?
I am much heavier but I’m working my way back down. There are good days and bad ones. While I am truly a happy person when I physically feel better and am eating right, I still battle that component of depression that can lead to emotional eating. I am addressing this issue to not only try to find out why it is so important to get in touch with your emotions but also due to the fact that in most states, healthcare is getting cut and many of the worst cases are caused and effected by obesity. And obesity is getting to an all time high.
We are certainly stuck in financially devastating times. There must be a way to try and help people cope. If not just the traditional sit down therapy session, then perhaps online groups and therapists that would come forward for free.
The overhead would be cheaper and as technology gets better and better, we would be able to help more and more people efficiently.
Over the last couple of weeks I have been meeting with experts in trying to understand and discuss the topics of emotional eating, depression, and myself.
It hasn’t been 100% successful but it has significantly helped me recognize my feelings. Now when I feel the need to turn to food, I use my new coping skills to make better decisions. Who knows, maybe I’ll be courageous enough to start the P90X by Tony Horton to really get my blood pumping instead of clogging my arteries.
As I have been discovering more and more, there is more and more hope out there. I just wish that more people would ask “why?” instead “how”.
With exercise and a good diet you’re halfway there; but you must include your own insight as well.
So the next time one of us picks up a bag of chips of piece of cake, just take the time to ask yourself why. You might be very surprised to find out that it has nothing to do with hunger.
The one thing that I have always tried to do with our film ‘Finding Thin’ is to create a community. Selling tickets is second hand, but trying to help and bond with people in need is first.
Posted in Answers, Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions
Tagged Barry Roskin Blake, bond, cheesecakefactory, chips, emotional eating, finding thin film, health, healthcare, healthy, how, online, P90x, support, supportgroups, therapist, Tony Horton, weight loss, weight watchers, why
I recently experienced the loss of a dog that had been my best friend for the last fifteen years. As I sat at the doctor’s office, it was the worst experience I had gone through within the last two years.
I know that some feel that a family pet is not the same as a human being in their eyes but we can agree to disagree on that point. I am not married and this dog was my immediate family.
If I could have gone with her, I possibly would have.
To temporarily soothe the pain, I stayed in bed and ordered in food that I knew were bad for me. It was emotional eating but I was very aware of it for the first time.
I just didn’t give a damn. There were friends for support but I didn’t want it. I wanted to punish myself for the loss of the dog that I felt responsible for.
While I tried and realize that it wasn’t my fault and I was doing the humane thing, but it still was my decision in the end.
I am starting to get better as I welcomed another dog that my mother adopted who is three years old. Originally, I was totally against it as I felt that it was a total betrayal.
Though I do think I am a good son who took my mother in to help take care of her and her other animals.
The interesting thing was that the dog took to me immediately and would not leave my side. Not even when I went to the bathroom.
So what was originally a dog that I did not want and was supposed to go to my mother, has now become my 2nd dog.
I feel her love and loyalty to her that I will work through any issues as she is not going anywhere.
Though the story gets even better…I was shooting a pickup shot yesterday where I went grocery shopping. I was supposed to fill the cart with a ton of unhealthy foods and I would then return then minutes after the shoot. Of course in the back of my head, I thought I would just keep them and eat my heart out.
I didn’t though and ended up returning the majority of all the foods by choice.
It just felt like it was the right thing to do for me. When people try and help you by pushing you to go on a diet, it never turns out. You have to give a damn first.
Through this emotional weight gain I’ve gained something even more…knowledge.
Posted in Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions
Tagged adoption, Barry Roskin Blake, death, dog, emotional eating, family, family loss, finding thin film, friends, gain, health, healthy, human, issues, knowledge, loss, Pain, pet, responsible, story, support, weight