When I lost both of my dogs last month, I went into the deepest form of depression that I have ever experienced. Luckily my friends stood by me, but there was not much they could do to help my inevitable pain. To mourn, I wanted food…
and not necessarily the good kind.
I knew if I emotionally ate, the outcome would be a reverse affect of my hard work, and I was very much willing to accept that.
In the end, the pain did subside and I only gained a couple of pounds.
I’m determined to lose that weight and that pain.
Being in control really does aid my happiness. It is great that I have finally had the chance to learn all of this by making this film. I have been given a one in a million chance to have three years of constant advice from the top diet and health gurus in the country. They are helping me fight the fight of obesity. Even through emotional obstacles, I’m still fighting the fight.
It doesn’t have to be so hard…does it?
Posted in Answers, Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions, Serious Issues
Tagged Barry Roskin Blake, comfort food, dog, emotional eating, emotions, family loss, fat, fat to thin, fight, Film, finding thin documentary, finding thin film, food choices, happiness, junkfood, obesity, obesity epidemic, overcoming obesity, pet, weight, weight loss, why are we so fat
I recently experienced the loss of a dog that had been my best friend for the last fifteen years. As I sat at the doctor’s office, it was the worst experience I had gone through within the last two years.
I know that some feel that a family pet is not the same as a human being in their eyes but we can agree to disagree on that point. I am not married and this dog was my immediate family.
If I could have gone with her, I possibly would have.
To temporarily soothe the pain, I stayed in bed and ordered in food that I knew were bad for me. It was emotional eating but I was very aware of it for the first time.
I just didn’t give a damn. There were friends for support but I didn’t want it. I wanted to punish myself for the loss of the dog that I felt responsible for.
While I tried and realize that it wasn’t my fault and I was doing the humane thing, but it still was my decision in the end.
I am starting to get better as I welcomed another dog that my mother adopted who is three years old. Originally, I was totally against it as I felt that it was a total betrayal.
Though I do think I am a good son who took my mother in to help take care of her and her other animals.
The interesting thing was that the dog took to me immediately and would not leave my side. Not even when I went to the bathroom.
So what was originally a dog that I did not want and was supposed to go to my mother, has now become my 2nd dog.
I feel her love and loyalty to her that I will work through any issues as she is not going anywhere.
Though the story gets even better…I was shooting a pickup shot yesterday where I went grocery shopping. I was supposed to fill the cart with a ton of unhealthy foods and I would then return then minutes after the shoot. Of course in the back of my head, I thought I would just keep them and eat my heart out.
I didn’t though and ended up returning the majority of all the foods by choice.
It just felt like it was the right thing to do for me. When people try and help you by pushing you to go on a diet, it never turns out. You have to give a damn first.
Through this emotional weight gain I’ve gained something even more…knowledge.
Posted in Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions
Tagged adoption, Barry Roskin Blake, death, dog, emotional eating, family, family loss, finding thin film, friends, gain, health, healthy, human, issues, knowledge, loss, Pain, pet, responsible, story, support, weight
A few days ago I lost my dog of fifteen years. Heidi was everything in the world to me. I have a few other pets including my beloved pug who woke up the first night screaming from a bad dream. This had never happened before.
My cats are staying close but I must admit that it is having an effect on my eating.
I am conscious that it is emotional eating but at the same time I found that I could actually account for the reason why. To put it simply, I didn’t give a damn. After letting go of my dog, whom I stayed with until the very end, I felt like a piece of me had died.
When I saw the final injection, I just wanted one for me as well. The heartbreak was the worst feeling I had felt in a long time.
Fortunately, the members on my team all went out and bought a card. Although a kind gesture, it just made it even more real. Though I really do know who my friends are now and am very grateful to every one of them for their condolences.
It is just very hard to give a damn right now as every day I notice something seems to be missing…and it is Heidi’s presence.
I used to tell people that emotional eating was wrong and to find another avenue but I am having a hard time practicing what I preach.
Emotional eating out of loss is one feeling that I have not had to deal with that often so for the first time in this film, I am not sure what to expect. Of course that is part of the deal about documenting my very real struggle in this film.
So to all who have gone through loss and are able to get past it successfully, I would really appreciate any advice that you may have in this pretty crappy time.
Posted in Answers, Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions
Tagged Barry Roskin Blake, cats, condolences, death, dogs, emotional eating, finding thin film, heartbreak, heidi, loss, pet