When Food Doesn’t Take The Pain Away Anymore

Almost three years ago I began the quest for “Finding Thin.”

During my quest to find thin, I started to gain even more weight.
Traveling all around the country interviewing Jillian Michaels, Bob
Harper, Tony Horton and more, was extremely stressful and offered very
few healthy eating opportunities throughout the way.

In truth, I used the stress as an excuse that in turn failed my body,
my health, and overall, myself. Emotional eating has interrupted any
successful weight loss for as long as I’ve ever known.

Last week I lost my beloved Pug and it was devastating. This was the
last of my dogs and the loss of two in a month or so time.
Barry Roskin Blake's Pug sleeping on the couch
My world was completely torn apart. Life didn’t feel right, even in my
own bed where I’ve been barely fighting off sleepless nights. Any
mention of my dog broke me into a million little pieces.

In the past, I’d usually turn to food to ease my pain, but this time
it just didn’t feel right.
It was as if someone put some sort of mind trap in me and I could not
reach for the food.
Suddenly there were just a few poor food choices…but I didn’t even
care. I believe that I even lost weight.

Whether or not this is because I feel so empty inside or not, I am not
sure. Though the one thing I know is that over the last couple of
months, I have felt very different when it came to emotions and
eating. I wasn’t even trying for weight loss and yet it seemed to be
coming naturally.

There is still internal pain that I have to get through, but there is
also that feeling of success for being able to deal with something as
devastating as this in such a different way.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that even in the darkest
hours, there is still hope out there.

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3 responses to “When Food Doesn’t Take The Pain Away Anymore

  1. Barry,

    My heart goes out to you with the loss of your two dearly beloved dogs. I hope that some peace helps to heal your heart soon.

  2. Pingback: My Visit With Ruby | Finding Thin: Thoughts From A Fat Man

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