This weekend has been a tough one for me. Thanksgiving is coming up and everybody is busy planning the holidays. I have no plan since most of my family is gone. Family holidays don’t exist anymore to me.
I felt a bit alone and started eating a few snack bars here and there. One snack bar led to another and I emptied a full box of it. I went out to a restaurant and ordered some fried foods I should have avoided too.
I went to my local convenience store and almost fell for a pint of ice cream… Somehow I didn’t. I am not sure where this strength came from. It looks like I need to get my emotions under control before being able to manage what I eat.
When I am feeling down, I don’t care about eating healthy or not. I only think about my current situation and cannot see any bright future, so I tell myself “So what if I eat junk now, I am not healthy anyway, who cares?”
Did I decide to eat myself into an early grave this weekend? Maybe… And I hope it is the last time that happens. Burying myself in food won’t help. I need to be looking for better ways to redirect myself.