A few days ago I lost my dog of fifteen years. Heidi was everything in the world to me. I have a few other pets including my beloved pug who woke up the first night screaming from a bad dream. This had never happened before.
My cats are staying close but I must admit that it is having an effect on my eating.
I am conscious that it is emotional eating but at the same time I found that I could actually account for the reason why. To put it simply, I didn’t give a damn. After letting go of my dog, whom I stayed with until the very end, I felt like a piece of me had died.
When I saw the final injection, I just wanted one for me as well. The heartbreak was the worst feeling I had felt in a long time.
Fortunately, the members on my team all went out and bought a card. Although a kind gesture, it just made it even more real. Though I really do know who my friends are now and am very grateful to every one of them for their condolences.
It is just very hard to give a damn right now as every day I notice something seems to be missing…and it is Heidi’s presence.
I used to tell people that emotional eating was wrong and to find another avenue but I am having a hard time practicing what I preach.
Emotional eating out of loss is one feeling that I have not had to deal with that often so for the first time in this film, I am not sure what to expect. Of course that is part of the deal about documenting my very real struggle in this film.
So to all who have gone through loss and are able to get past it successfully, I would really appreciate any advice that you may have in this pretty crappy time.