I recently experienced the loss of a dog that had been my best friend for the last fifteen years. As I sat at the doctor’s office, it was the worst experience I had gone through within the last two years.
I know that some feel that a family pet is not the same as a human being in their eyes but we can agree to disagree on that point. I am not married and this dog was my immediate family.
If I could have gone with her, I possibly would have.
To temporarily soothe the pain, I stayed in bed and ordered in food that I knew were bad for me. It was emotional eating but I was very aware of it for the first time.
I just didn’t give a damn. There were friends for support but I didn’t want it. I wanted to punish myself for the loss of the dog that I felt responsible for.
While I tried and realize that it wasn’t my fault and I was doing the humane thing, but it still was my decision in the end.
I am starting to get better as I welcomed another dog that my mother adopted who is three years old. Originally, I was totally against it as I felt that it was a total betrayal.
Though I do think I am a good son who took my mother in to help take care of her and her other animals.
The interesting thing was that the dog took to me immediately and would not leave my side. Not even when I went to the bathroom.
So what was originally a dog that I did not want and was supposed to go to my mother, has now become my 2nd dog.
I feel her love and loyalty to her that I will work through any issues as she is not going anywhere.
Though the story gets even better…I was shooting a pickup shot yesterday where I went grocery shopping. I was supposed to fill the cart with a ton of unhealthy foods and I would then return then minutes after the shoot. Of course in the back of my head, I thought I would just keep them and eat my heart out.
I didn’t though and ended up returning the majority of all the foods by choice.
It just felt like it was the right thing to do for me. When people try and help you by pushing you to go on a diet, it never turns out. You have to give a damn first.
Through this emotional weight gain I’ve gained something even more…knowledge.
Posted in Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions
Tagged adoption, Barry Roskin Blake, death, dog, emotional eating, family, family loss, finding thin film, friends, gain, health, healthy, human, issues, knowledge, loss, Pain, pet, responsible, story, support, weight
With the flooding of my media room the other day, I really did not know if I would turn to food. But even with all of my precious belongings ruined and under water with weeks of replacing and rebuilding ahead of me, I will persevere.
Of course food does seem like a very tempting offer right now. But I will continue to try and eat right because short -term satisfaction turns into long- term failure. Why mitigate the damage by doing more? I just need to find a way to do something else.
Besides, there were so many other people that have lost so much more in far worse situations.
It has been a very hard last number of days. Having a aunt die, losing your best friend and then most of your material things, really makes you have to count on yourself.
I like to think I am stronger then other people emotionally, though the truth is that I usually cut people off and turn to the worst foods for comfort…one of the reasons I know that cost me a dear friendship.
I think what I have learned is to turn inwards instead of out. This way I can make the most out of me and learn how to cope with unexpected life.
There has to be a better way. My diet is myself. It has to be my choice how to deal.
If I have learned one thing from my three years producing ‘Finding Thin’, it is to turn inwards first. There is always another day to look forward and learn more about myself. And I’ll outwardly show it as I persevere.
Posted in Answers, Cleanse, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions
Tagged Barry Roskin Blake, bridge, comfort food, death, family, finding thin film, flood, friends, junkfood, persevere, production, troubledwaters, weight, weightloss
With childhood obesity at an all-time high, my holiday wish for Santa this year would be for all kids to be able to sit on Santa’s lap without causing him serious injury.
Now since almost one in five children are overweight, Santa must be on the verge of developing a hernia.
It really is the job of the parents to decide what holiday treats to keep in the house this season. I strongly encourage them to save their kids from years of emotional and physical problems by storing your refrigerator with the right foods.
The holidays should be about heartwarming feelings, friends, and family. It’s not about the accumulation of how many pounds the immediate and extended family can gain in one holiday season.
After all, the number one New Year’s resolution is for one to lose weight… and after January 2nd, how long is that resolution truly kept in focus?
In the end, do you really want your own child to be bigger then Santa himself?
Posted in Answers, Director Notes, Film, Food, Hot Topic, In The News, Personal, Production, Questions
Tagged Barry Roskin Blake, children, christmas, family, fat, finding thin, friends, health, hernia, obesity, parents, refrigerator, santa