Today, I wrote down exactly what I ate and kept track of calorie counts and quantity. For 3 days in a row I have been keeping a log of my food intake. I began to be followed by a doctor almost a month ago so it sounds weird to only have 3 days on record.
What happened is that, I didn’t care about what I was eating as long as I estimated that it wasn’t bad for me. And whatever I ate that was unhealthy or things I binged on, I literally erased them from my memory and didn’t keep track of it.
I am finally going along with the concept of “discipline”. I hate that word, can’t stand it. Probably reminds me of some bad childhood memories or jobs I didn’t keep or didn’t like. I hate the sound of it so much that we refer it as “getting your sh…t together” on the Finding Thin team.
Before the “getting your sh…it together” era, I would leave the office from time to time to go eat something without my team knowing about it. I would buy ice cream at the same time I’d go buy my medication. I would sneak in biscuits and cookies… I’d order pizza and hide the boxes not to get caught. I actually got busted a couple of times.
I went shopping two days ago and didn’t buy the snack food or ice cream I would usually get. Since I was at my favorite store and there is so much to find there, I did get boxes of my favorite 100-calorie chocolate covered peanut butter snack bars… but before I even touched them, I gave them away so I wouldn’t get tempted.
Next time I go shopping, I will go with a list of healthy things to buy and a plan on how not to get attracted to the usual microwavable and frozen meals… I also plan on learning how to cook and enjoy it. I will not go shopping on my own anymore until I am strong enough not to buy things I shouldn’t eat.
Am I on the right path?