Am I Too Fat To Be Loved?

Today, I finally decided to join the online dating world. I say “finally” because I have been thinking about it for a while but never had the courage to sign up for it. I always thought people wouldn’t want to date me because I am fat.

Actually, even when I lost a lot of weight, I still didn’t date. I always had tons of excuses/reasons not to: Fear not to be liked, cost, work schedule, low self esteem etc… A few hours ago, I found the strength to get out there and start meeting people online.

I hope I can find someone who loves me for who I am without judging me by the cover. The world has so much to offer and I would like to share it with somebody. I am still worried about being rejected. Sometimes, I can hear my parents’ voices from my childhood telling me “Nobody will want to date you if you’re fat”, it doesn’t help my insecurity.

Funny how I chose the film industry as a career: one of the toughest and most judgmental fields out there. I guess it’s because I am more comfortable and self-confident acting than being myself. When I act and produce, I have a wall to protect myself and I feel more alive.

However, since I am judging myself by the cover, how can I expect other people not to? I wonder how many ‘thin’ people out there would want to date somebody like me…

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10 responses to “Am I Too Fat To Be Loved?

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Am I Too Fat To Be Loved? | Finding Thin: Thoughts From A Fat Man -- Topsy.com

  2. Barry,
    A mature person doesn’t only see the outside. What is inside the heart is the most important. If you like/love/care about a person it doesn’t matter. Trust me. I met my husband 13 years ago when I was at my heaviest. I was already accepting being alone my whole life, then poof, there was Greg. He liked me. Nothing else mattered. Then he loved me. Now 13 years later, we couldn’t be happier. He has been with me through everything and we have each other and 3 beautiful grandkids. We all know that what is inside is what counts, but only a smart, mature and loving person loves the outside too. Good luck to you in the dating. Don’t ever, ever get discouraged. There is somebody out there for you and no matter how long it takes, it’s worth the wait……:)

    • Nobody is ever too fat to be loved! My mom use to tell me the same stuff that no man would want me as a wife because I was fat. I think one day I just realized that it wasn’t the case that men do love me for my mind and for my body as well. Once I realized that and realized that being rejected really isn’t the end of the world at all, the dating life didn’t seem such a scary place!

      I say just get out there and show people how awesome you are and what you have to offer the world and that special someone!

  3. i think you should change the way you feel first and foremost, or at least work on changing it. being fat isn’t and shouldn’t be an excuse for not dating. someone won’t love you in spite of your being fat. they will love you – fat you. it’s not about “looking beyond” someone’s exterior, it’s about finding that very exterior attractive. so you need to start talking to yourself when you look in the mirror, and when that voice fires up and says “you’re fat. no one wants fat people.” tell that voice to shut the hell up. literally – work up the nerve to say it out loud. you’ve got the power – take it.

    i’m a fat, shiny, round, gorgeous happy woman who’s smart as a whip, funny and compassionate. i’ll bet you’re a list of adjectives, too, and some people will prefer some things over others, but if all they see when they look at you is fat guy, then they weren’t worth dating anyway. trust me on that one.

  4. Listen to nettaP…..she said it all…period!!!!!!!!

  5. Your all right and I really appreciate your supportive comments.
    Thanks so much.

  6. I am too fat to be loved.
    I tried the online dating thing too but it only made me feel worse about myself. With a picture up, I got no responses. Without a picture up, I had to send one and that was the last I heard from guys. It hurts too much to be rejected so much so I closed my account. In the past I always lost weight when someone believed in me and liked me but now nobody will give me a chance. I have given up but still have not come to terms that I will never be loved because I am just too fat.

    • I wish I could tell you that I have faith. All people being true and looking through the weight is very hard to find. There is more bigotry out there against people are size then you would want to know.
      There still is some hope as I was told about a group called Chubby Chasers out there. I have no direct knowledge of the club or website so could not really recommend them in any way yet.
      Though don’t think that you are totally alone.
      I really do feel for you though and it is a direct issue that I face when I eat emotionally.
      Please feel free to post on our site or contact me directly if you just need some help.
      ‘Finding Thin’ and I are there for more then just promoting our movie (which will address this issue). I would like to feel that ‘Finding Thin’ is a community to help one another.
      Have a happy holiday.

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