Tales From a Beached Whale

I just got to see the footage of me taking a body fat percentage test. FYI: That’s when you are actually in an X-Ray machine with a full scan. Check out the picture below…


I didn’t realize I looked that big. I literally looked like a beached whale. It’s the first time I am seeing myself laying down… and I don’t like it.

Thank God there is no mirror by my bed and I can’t see without my glasses. Usually I don’t look at myself in the mirror anyway, and I hide my belly with a cover so I don’t see it. Today I really got a good look at myself. Wow… I look so bad.

I feel like I have learned a lot about food and dieting while working on this film, but I am not sure it is enough to make me happy and thin. Sometimes, I just wish I could magically take off the weight. I wonder how long it will take.

Do I need to lose weight to like myself?

Beached Whale Barry


2 responses to “Tales From a Beached Whale

  1. This post is depressing and disturbing. First of all, you don’t look that big. And the important point in that is you have a completely distorted body image. Are you developing an eating disorder from all this?

    Also, what kind of message are you sending? Hate yourself if you are bigger than you want to be?

    You may have learned a lot about food and dieting, but it doesn’t sound like you have learned much about mental health.

    You are aware I am opposed to your project and many people involved. But that really has nothing to do with whether I empathize with you. I do. And I think you need to step back and look at the unintended consequences. That is a really troubling post.

    Rebecca Weinstein, Esq, MSW

  2. I think this post is exposing how Barry felt that day after watching the footage of his last visit to the doctor. This is in no way telling people to hate themselves for being overweight or obese.

    There is no hidden message in this post. These are just the feelings of a man that felt like he looked like a beached whale. These are the first words that came out of his mouth when he saw this picture.

    Feelings are feelings, nothing perfect in there, hence the title of the blog: “Finding Thin: Thoughts from a fat man”

    I saw Barry’s face when he was told he had 53% body fat and weighed 344 pounds, THIS was depressing. Of course you hate yourself when you feel like you’ve failed what you wanted to achieve: you lose a bit of self-esteem, start questioning yourself and then get back on track.

    It’s a little bit early to be opposed to a project or criticize it when you don’t even know what will be in it. Wait for the documentary to come out and we’ll be happy to get new feedback from you. Most of the questions you asked in your comment will be answered very soon.

    Thank you very much for the comment and empathy!

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