In all my years on this earth, through all of my ups and downs, 500 lbs days and 150 lbs days, I am at a place I have never been at before. I previously made bad choices that inevitably led to more weight issues. Now I am making better choices and losing the weight in an appropriate way. I am watching what I eat better and exercising better. I used to just watch every calorie that went into my body and became obsessed with it. Now I am watching how healthy the food is. It is more important to me that food is a healthy choice than just a lean choice.
After 31 days of this, I feel much better. I feel alive for the first time in a long time. I was recently in New York City and what previously seemed like the worst walk ever from 21st street to Time Square was a breeze. Don’t get me wrong, there are days I would love to stay in bed or eat everything in my fridge, but I have a new found strength that keeps me going and feeling healthier than ever.
I also realized that it is not just what I eat or how I work out, it’s about the weight that I carry around with me. I have blamed being heavy for everything in my life — the reason I don’t go to social events, the reason I don’t do physical activity, even the reason I eat most of the time. It’s a shield I hide behind. However, the biggest weight I carry are the layers of unhappiness. I know that being thin doesn’t make me happy, but being happy can help me be thin.
return to finding thin